Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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