how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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