kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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