Just cropdusted the office
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
