Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize