Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish my penis had an off switch
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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