WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
