I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
