Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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