Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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