u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
