Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
