i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
