4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize