i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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