we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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