what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
