wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
