i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
