So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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