you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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