I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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