I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize