break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
