god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
