highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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