God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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