google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
