She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize