if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
