Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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