only if we run a train.
done.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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