Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
