Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
