batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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