just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
