i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
