so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
