Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
high people should be assigned attendants
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
