this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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