would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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