Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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