So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
