really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize