my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
