i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
