I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize