Don't you send me to vm
I love black thongs
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
