I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
