I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
