When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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