I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
