some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
