I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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