it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
