How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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