Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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