I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
