my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize