i think i have two assholes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
