She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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