when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
