i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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