We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
