I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
