I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
