Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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