oh god the rape fog is back!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
