i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
