Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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