waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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