i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
