Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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